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Pacing your trips with kids is important!

Planning a family trip can be a blast, but if you’re not careful, it can turn into a tiring marathon that leaves everyone burnt out and tired instead of a fun adventure full of beautiful memories. This is why I’ve learned to embrace the art of pacing, especially when it comes to traveling with kids.

How we pace our trips to avoid fatigue and burnout

Whether we’re going on a long trip or just a weekend getaway, I make sure to sprinkle plenty of chill-out time into our plans, adding cozy breaks to our busy schedule. You see, avoiding burnout isn’t just about keeping everyone physically okay; it’s also about dodging those cranky moments that can mess up even the best family outing.

Build in time for rest.

I try to build in rest days, especially on longer trips, to avoid burnout (and the resulting bad moods). This is one reason I enjoy slow travel and workcations as much as I do: working during the day and having a lazy night at home doesn’t feel wasteful when you have three or four weekends to spend exploring a place. During shorter trips, where every minute counts, you won’t want to build in rest because it can feel like you’re ‘wasting’ the time you have to explore, but finding time to relax becomes super important. When you’re cramming a lot of activity and adventure into a short period of time, it’s easy to over do it or push someone too far. So build in relaxation with unstructured periods of time to give everyone a break. 

Pacing your trips is about finding that sweet spot between excitement and calm, between thrilling adventures and peaceful pauses.

Make your travel days easy.

Another pacing rule that I use when planning our trips is simple: Whenever possible, we try to avoid extremely early morning or overnight travel. I view travel days as part of our (mental) downtime, a chance to reset and recharge before diving back into the action. If you ensure that travel days are solely for travel, with no other expectations or responsibility, then your brain has one simple task: get these people from Point A to Point B. The travel will take a specific allotted amount of time that is what it is. This travel time may be enjoyable depending on the mode, your particular anxieties, and the ages of your travel companions. The rest of your brain power and time can be dedicated to disconnecting and relaxing and having some fun! With the right mindset, these moments can become part of the adventure and we can turn boring journeys into cool memories.

In a nutshell, I plan trips like I’m the director of a cruise ship. Just like the first and last days of a cruise are all about getting on and off, our travel bookends are gentle starts and ends to our adventures. In between, we enjoy a mix of exciting activities and relaxing moments, just like the waves of the ocean.

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Tips for pacing your trips

Here are some tips that we regularly use when planning our trips that should help you plan and pace your family trips effectively. By incorporating these tips into your trip planning, you can create a balanced and enjoyable experience for the whole family, ensuring that everyone returns home with cherished memories and a refreshed spirit.

Start with a flexible itinerary

Outline the main attractions or activities you want to experience, but leave room for spontaneity. Flexibility allows you to adapt to unexpected changes or unexpected discoveries along the way.

Alternate activity intensity

Mix high-energy activities with low-key ones to prevent exhaustion. For example, follow a day of sightseeing with a beach day or low-key wandering the neighborhood, or follow a slow morning at an art museum with a couple hours at a playground. 

Prioritize rest days

Dedicate specific days solely to relaxation and downtime. Use these days to recharge, explore your accommodation’s amenities, or simply enjoy leisurely strolls in the neighborhood. How you define “relaxation” and “downtime” will differ for every traveler and every family; for us, it can look like an afternoon by the pool followed by a family movie night, or a lazy morning enjoying the view followed by an evening at the local pub, or simply a day free of plans.

Opt for longer stays 

Consider spending more time in fewer destinations rather than rushing through multiple places; the more destinations means the more accommodations and travel days, which both increase cost and reduce the time you could spend exploring. Consider staying in one place for a week or more, building in time to venture out on day trips. Staying in one place for a longer period of time allows for deeper exploration and minimizes the stress of constant packing and unpacking.

Utilize travel time wisely

Travel days can make for great rest days, if you think about them in the right way. For many of us, ‘rest’ may be more of a mental exercise than a physical one, and any opportunity to metaphorically turn off our brains can help refresh and rejuvenate. 

On travel days, you should have nothing else to worry or think about except getting from Point A to Point B; don’t book any other engagements, don’t promise yourself that you’re going to work on the flight. Use the time to disconnect from your regular life and transition into ‘travel mode’. Use the time to slow down, breathe, and be present; all that matters is catching the train/flight/car and getting to your final destination. Everything else can wait. 

So make the most of travel time by packing entertainment for yourself and the kiddos, such as books, games, or movies. Or heck, let yourself (and the youngsters!) stare off into the horizon and get lost in thought. A little boredom is great for our brains. 

Involve the kids in planning

Engage your children in the trip planning process by letting them choose activities or attractions that interest them. When kids feel invested in the itinerary, they’re more likely to enjoy the journey.

Enjoy some other ways to get the kids involved in planning!

Embrace slow travel

Slow travel can mean anything from staying in one place for a week to six months; the duration matters less than the way in which you get to know that location. Slow travel is all about mindfulness, sustainability, and staying in one place for a longer period of time. Instead of hopping from one city to another, slow down the pace and immerse yourself in the local culture. Spend a week in a quaint village or rent a vacation home in the scenic countryside for a month. Home exchange and housesitting are both fabulous ways to experiment with slow travel. 

Want to learn more about our approach to slow travel? Read these posts!

• One month in Mexico: Things we love about Playa del Carmen
• Two weeks in Montreal, Quebec
• Need a bigger vacation budget? Here are 9 ways to save money to travel more
• How to work remotely while traveling
• Home Exchange: Living in Someone Else’s House

Stay flexible with meal and nap times

Don’t worry about strictly adhering to meal or nap schedules. Feed people when they are hungry, let the kids snooze when they’re tired. It will all even out in the end. It’s okay to grab a “brunch” or “linner”, eating outside your usual times, and it’s okay if the kid falls asleep in the restaurant booth at 8 pm. As long as everyone is getting fed when they are hungry and getting to sleep when they are sleepy, you’ll be fine. 

I know it can be tempting to feel beholden to your baby’s nap schedule. In some cases, some kids really do need that strict structure, and you’ll know if your kid can handle going off schedule. If you are able, I encourage you to let go a little in this area on your next trip. Our kid has slept for hours upon hours in his stroller, his baby carrier, in laps, on the floor, and even in pools, thus allowing us to continue exploring or eat a dinner in peace or do whatever it was that Mom and Dad wanted to do on the trip. 

Being flexible with meal times not only reduces YOUR stress but it can add an element of spontaneity to your trip!

Listen to Your Family’s Needs

Pay attention to cues from your family members and adjust the itinerary accordingly. If someone is feeling tired or overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to scale back the plans and prioritize relaxation. This is especially true for really little kids; sometimes you just gotta go back to the hotel or AirBNB. Whether it’s a blow out or a meltdown, I encourage you to remain calm and take it all in stride. If you have not overpacked your trip agenda and if you have built in enough flexibility, you will not miss out on anything and everyone can spend a few hours relaxing and recouping.

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Real itineraries from our trips

Below I’ve provided four sample itineraries from real trips that we took with our child. These trips represent a variety of workcation and vacation style travel. I am happy to answer any questions that you may have! 

Itinerary for Disney

Duration: 7 Days

PTO Required: 5 days

Age of our child at the time: 3.5

Traveling party: the three of us, Ashley’s parents, four friends

Schedule

• Day 1: Fly to MCO and get checked in to our condo
• Day 2: Magic Kingdom for all
• Day 3: Non-Park Day for Group A + Universal for Group B
• Day 4: Animal Kingdom for Group A + EPCOT for Group B
• Day 5: Non-park relaxing day for all
• Day 6: Disney Studios for the big kids
• Day 7: Travel day

What worked: Spacing out the fun; only doing 2 parks with the kid; not trying to force everyone to have fun together all the time

What I would change for next time: When planning our first family Disney palooza, I didnt want to burn us out by planning to do TOO MUCH. And yet, even building in a couple non-park days, I think we maybe tried to do too much because we squeezed in a lot of non-park fun that contributed to our fatigue. Next time I would do something like: Travel Day, Park Day, Non Park Day, Rest Day, Park Day, Non Park Day, Rest day, Travel Day.

Want to read more about our first trip to Disney? 

• Lessons Learned: Walt Disney World with a 3-year-old
• My experience with the Disney DAS Pass
• Photo blog from the trip!

Itinerary for Sandestin

Duration: 8 Days

PTO Required: 3 days for Ashley, 5 days for Justin

Age of our child at the time: 3.5

Traveling party: the three of us, Ashley’s parents

Schedule

• Day 1: Drive down, settle in, beach, golf cart ride about, playground, pickup dinner
• Day 2: Beach day! Pool time! Parents get kid-free golf cart time and do a grocery run
• Day 3: Beach day! Watch the fireworks from the house
• Day 4: WFH day for Ashley; the three of us go out for lunch; family meets up with old friends for dinner
• Day 5: WFH day for Ashley; boys have a beach day; kite flying post-work; family goes out for dinner; look for crabs by the shore at night
• Day 6: the three of us go into the ‘town’ area to explore, have lunch, play on the playground; pool time! Kid-free golf-cart drive about time; Family photos on the beach at sunset
• Day 7: Last pool and beach day! 
• Day 8: Drive home

What worked: One of the things we love about the Sandestin resort is how self-contained it is. Similar in ways to Disney (for the self-contained “campus”) and to Isla Mujeres (for driving everywhere on golf carts), it is sooooo convenient and unstressful to be within a one-stop-shop kind of vacation experience. Loading up the grandparents and the child on the golf cart is a lot easier than everyone schlepping about in a car. 

What I would change for next time: We would have stayed slightly further away from the beach to save money on the accommodations. As long as we have a golf cart, we can get everywhere very quickly. 

Want to learn more about Sandestin? It’s a great place for families. We’ve been twice! Here’s our review of our first trip, which was similar in scope and duration. 

Itinerary for Chicago and Michigan City

Duration: 23 days 

PTO Required: Ashley took 3.5 days of PTO; Justin took 5 days of PTO

Age of our child at the time: 4

Traveling party: the three of us

Schedule

• Day 1: Travel day (½ day at work), find parking and unpack
• Day 2: Explore Buena Park neighborhood, get groceries, get dinner locally, restful evening
• Day 3: Meet up with Aunt Katie; Navy Pier; Maggie Daley Park; River boat architecture tour; dinner in Andersonville
• Day 4: Skyler starts new school; Parents work at home; Dinner and movie 
• Day 5: Skyler goes to school; parents work at home; dinner and restful evening
• Day 6: Skyler goes to school; Ashley goes into the office downtown; Justin works at home; dinner with friends (home very late)
• Day 7: Skyler goes to school; parents work at home; dinner and restful evening
• Day 8: Skyler goes to school; parents work at home; dinner in the suburbs with friends (home very late)
• Day 9: Lazy rest morning and laundry; afternoon adventure with Aunt Katie including a playground; Mama + Dada date night while Aunt Katie babysits (we saw Harry Mack in concert! Amazing!)
• Day 10: Lazy rest morning; afternoon adventure in the suburbs with friends where we spend the night
• Day 11: National holiday (so no work); lazy morning with friends; afternoon adventure and dinner with friends in the city; 
• Day 12: Family WFH day (Skyler gets a lot of tablet and TV time, shh), restful evening, afternoon adventure and dinner with aunties and friends, late but relaxing evening
• Day 13: Family WFH day, Ashley goes into the office for work, Justin works at home and Skyler gets tablet and TV time; evening adventure and dinner with friends
• Day 14: Family WFH day; afternoon adventure; Justin and Skyler order dinner in, Ashley goes out with friends
• Day 15: Family WFH day, post-work adventure and dinner out
• Day 16: Travel day (Sleep in, laundry, and clean the apartment as per the home exchange agreement; road trip to Michigan City, stopping in Gary, IN and a family-owned Mexican restaurant along the way; evening adventure and dinner out)
• Day 17: Lazy restful morning, golf cart joyride followed by beach, pool time and ice cream; dinner out and restful movie night at home
• Day 18: Justin works while Ashley and Skyler go to the beach and pool; restful evening at home
• Day 19: Ashley works while Justin and Skyler go to the beach and pool; dinner out, golfcart joyride and restful movie night at home
• Day 20: Ashley works while Justin and Skyler have a lazy screentime day; dinner out, golfcart joyride and restful movie night at home
• Day 21: All-day adventure to South Bend, IN; early bedtime for everyone
• Day 22: lazy restful morning; midday beach time; evening hang time and dinner with friends; packing
• Day 23: Travel day (drive back to Nashville)

What worked: The daycare we found! Even though it was pricey, it was PERFECT for what we needed and gave us the quiet and flexibility we needed to do our jobs. Seeing so many different people from different areas of our lives was pure magic. Not only did we get to explore one of our favorite cities (and visit SO many cool playgrounds!!) but we got to spend a lot of time with people we love.  

What I would change for next time: We have now stayed in Buena Park twice, and while the home exchange we had both times was such a great space and quiet location, we are ready to explore other areas of the city. I would also go LATER in the summer as we were all so cold so much of the time.

Want to learn more about Chicago and Michigan City?

• The best parks and playgrounds in Chicago
• Lincoln Park: One of the best FREE Things to do with kids in Chicago
• Chicago Photo Journal from our first long trip to the Windy City
• Our experience in the Beachwalk Resort in Michigan City

Itinerary for Montreal

Duration: 15 Days

PTO Required: 5 days

Age of our child at the time: 4

Traveling party: the three of us

Schedule

• Day 1: Travel day
• Day 2: Settle in and explore the area
• Day 3: Family WFH day (Skyler gets a lot of tablet and TV time, shh), local playground and dinner after work, post-dinner walk around Rue Wellington
• Day 4: Family WFH day, followed by another new playground and dinner after work, and family movie night at home
• Day 5: Family WFH day, I attend a workout class after work while the boys go to a playground. We meet for dinner and go grocery shopping before a quiet night at home
• Day 6: Family WFH day. After work, Skyler and I go to another playground for a long time. Frozen pizza and games at home.
• Day 7: Last Family WFH day! Left work a little early to go to a playground and walk around Rue Wellington. Late dinner and too much dessert.
• Day 8: Sleep in! Beach day! Took the train into Old Town, walked around the Old Port, attended a Latin American food truck festival.
• Day 9: Sunday Funday! Museum of Fine Arts, lots of walking around downtown, we went to a great playground, ate lunch, went back to Verdun Beach, made friends and had dinner with them.
• Day 10: PTO! Train into the city to find out we forgot to buy tickets to the Biodome and can’t get in today. Spent many hours at a playground. Dinner in the city. Relaxing night at home.
• Day 11: PTO! Lazy morning with boulangerie pastries for breakfast. Train back to the Biodome and Insectarium and lunch in the city. Lazy movie night at home.
• Day 12: PTO! Train into the city for walking about, exploring neighborhoods. Took in the sights at Mont Royal. Dinner at home.
• Day 13: PTO! Local cat cafe and walkabout and bagels and Rue Wellington. Lazy night at home packing.
• Day 14: PTO! Errands, cleaning, packing. Hang out with new friends in the afternoon at Rapids Parks Bird Sanctuary. Dinner and drinks with new friends, home by midnight.
• Day 15: Travel day, heading back home!

What worked: The pacing of the trip was perfect for us. We got in a lot of movement and walking, we saw a LOT of the city, we engaged with and met so many locals, we got a real taste for what local life was like in Verdun and loved every minute of it. We would totally go back here and do a similar trip again. 

What I would change for next time: My son needs more direction and guidance for solo activities. Though our home exchange hosts lent us a massive quantity of legos, he’s not into free building as much as he is following instructions so he lost interest quickly. So I would have planned his activities for our WFH days better ahead of time. 

Want to learn more about our trip to Montreal? I wrote a detailed in-depth post about our two-week home exchange in Verdun, Montreal including a much more detailed trip timeline and a break down of the trip costs. 

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So, as you get ready for your next family trip, remember: pacing isn’t about slowing down; it’s about enjoying every moment, going with the flow, and making memories that’ll stick with you. With a little planning and a dash of spontaneity, you can turn your family getaway into an awesome journey—one where excitement and relaxation go hand in hand under the wide open sky.